How to Make It Stressful
Don't know about you, but I've been a little bored with all the COVID shutdowns and cancellations. So, I've decided to go against type and help you with ideas to add a little stress back into your Christmas this year.
Number 10 - Wrap your small children in Christmas lights. Like the little girl above, they probably won't even notice. The potential choking hazard will keep you on edge though...
Number 9 - Go to crowded malls, defying social distancing wisdom. After all, what's more important than getting just the right gift that your friends and relatives will never use? The risk of COVID should add stress.
Number 8 - Play no Christmas music. Stream only grunge songs from the '90s, preferably at the loudest volume possible.
Number 7 - Work more. If you really throw everything into your work and ignore your family, they will probably appreciate the extra dollars a few years from now. Working a lot gets me keyed up.
Number 6 - Argue with your spouse or best friend. No need to be specific, just pick a fight over anything that is annoying you at the moment. Being on the outs with someone should get you stressed.
Number 5 - Find some traffic. Although the traffic situation in Washington, D.C. has thinned out a bit with everyone working from home, there is still a surprising amount of cars on the highways and major arteries on weekends. I'm sure you can find a busy parking lot at least if you head to Walmart or Target.
Number 4 - Ask your neighors to turn off their Christmas lights at 9 p.m. out of respect for your desire to get a little extra sleep and to save the environment.
Number 3 - Spend extra this year. One of the best ways to get stressed is to overextend yourself around the holidays. It wouldn't be a fitting celebration for a poor boy born in a stable without spending at least a couple of thousand dollars on your spouse.
Number 2 - Get sick by overeating. Nothing really brings the holdiays to peak frenzy like a last-minute stomach problem just before the relatives are about to show up for your family party. Stuff that food in at every holiday celebration no matter how banal the cuisine. If you really put your mind to it, you could probably worry that all the indigestion is really a more serious physical malady.
Number 1 - Forget the real meaning of Christmas. What can make things more stressful than avoiding church, focusing on the secular, and ignoring the true meaning of Christmas. Sure, Jesus came to save us from sin and give us abundant life, but wouldn't it be wiser to focus totally on the secular this year?
Another great way to get a little keyed up is to read my latest fiction release. A Baby's Right to Choose tells the story of a high school age couple who find themselves pregnant. Just as they consider visiting the town's only abortion clinic, police try to figure out the connection between a strangler and that same clinic. Early reviews indicate this book will raise your heart rate and create an overall feeling of suspense.
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